phone message on tinder



Sending and receiving nudes, sexual images or videos is pretty common these days. It can all be a bit fun and flirty. There might not ever be a problem. But sending nudes can get problematic really fast.

What if you receive an unwanted nude? Worse, what if someone threatens to or actually does share your nudes?


1. Threatening to, or actually sharing nudes without the consent of the person pictured is a crime.

Starting off strong with the heavy stuff, sure. But image-based abuse happens far too often and it’s really important that we all know it is a crime.

Image-based abuse occurs when an intimate image or video is shared without the consent of the person pictured. You might have heard this called ‘revenge porn’, but image-based abuse is not always revenge based.

When someone makes demands of you and threatens to share your nudes if you don’t comply, that’s called sextortion. Maybe they’re asking for money. Whatever it is, don’t give in. Stop contacting them and seek help.

An intimate image is one that shows:

  • a person’s genital or anal area (whether bare or covered by underwear)
  • a person’s breasts (if the person is female, transgender or intersex),
  • a private activity like undressing, sexual activity, showering, etc.
  • a person without their religious or culturally significant attire, if they would usually wear such attire in public.

In Federal law, image-based abuse can also be dealt with under the crime of using a carriage service to harass, menace or cause offence.

In NSW, there are a range of offences that involve recording, distributing or threatening to distribute an intimate image without consent. Many other States and Territories have similar laws. Full details of intimate image laws in other States and Territories are available here.

So first of all, don’t do this. It’s not cool and it’s illegal. If someone does this to you, there is help available (which we’ll discuss below).

2. It’s all about consent. But even then, be careful.

If you’re over 18, there is nothing to stop you from taking a nude picture of yourself. Go for your life. If you want to send that picture to someone else, you need to ask them first. Only send it if they agree to receive it. If you receive a nude from someone else, for the love of all that is good, do not forward it to anyone else.

Before you send the picture or video;

  • Consider if you feel comfortable sharing it.
  • Consider how much you trust the intended recipient.
  • Are you sure you’re about to send it to the right person?
  • What if they sent it onto someone else?

When it comes to taking intimate photos or videos of someone else, you can only legally take them with the consent of the person pictured. And you can’t share the images or videos without their consent either.

3. It’s not OK to be pressured into sending nudes.

If someone is pressuring you to send nudes, that is not OK. It doesn’t matter if it’s a stranger, friend, boyfriend or girlfriend. Don’t give in to the pressure. There are many ways in which you could respond. Maybe send a picture of Michelangelo’s statue of David.  Or maybe a gif of some real tasty noods. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Rice noodles in a black bowl, being picked up by chopsticks.

But in all seriousness, you should respond by asking them to stop, letting them know that you’re not keen. If you feel disrespected by their request, tell them! This is the route to changing the culture around nudes.

If someone isn’t taking no for an answer, take some screenshots of the requests. Then, report and block. Move on. You don’t need that in your life.

4. If you receive an unwanted nude, say that you are uncomfortable and delete it.

Hands up if you’ve ever received an unsolicited d*ck pic? 🙅🏽‍♀️

The eSafety Commissioners statistics show that young women are three times more likely than young men to receive an unsolicited nude image. It happens pretty often.

You should delete the image right away. If you’re comfortable responding to the sender, tell them that you’re not cool with receiving nudes. If you need to, you can use the report and block functions on social media or block their phone number.

5. You can report image-based abuse to the eSafety Commissioner and receive support. 

The Australia-wide civil penalties scheme that allows victims of image-based abuse to make a report to eSafety. The eSafety Commissioner can aid victims to get the abusive images or videos removed. In some cases, eSafety may be able to take action against the person responsible.

If your nudes have been shared, it can feel devastating. You will probably feel a range of emotions from embarrassment to anger, anxiety, and frustration. The eSafety Commissioner can also refer you to counselling services.

UNE students can access free counselling through UNE Student Counselling and Psychological Services (CAPS). They are fully qualified and registered psychologists, offering on-campus appointments and phone/video chat sessions for online students. The service is confidential and free for UNE students. You can contact them Monday- Friday, 9am-4 pm, on (02) 6773 2897.

For more urgent assistance, UNE offers After Hours Support on weekdays from 4.00pm to 9.00am AEST, weekends and public holidays. Phone 1300 661 927 or text 0488 884 169.

6. Screenshot the evidence ASAP.

If someone is threatening to, or actually does, share your nudes, screenshot as much evidence as you can. Include account usernames, messages, posts, including URLs. Always include the time and date you collected the evidence. Keep these in a safe place.

Be careful about taking screenshots. Creating, possessing or sharing nude images of people under 18 may be a crime. For more information on sexual images of minors, visit Youth Law Australia.


Now we’re all a bit more educated about sending and receiving nudes, we can make informed decisions about them. If you’re unsure about sending or receiving a nude, you can say no. If you feel fine with sending a nude to a person you trust, then enjoy!

The most important thing to know is that if someone threatens to, or actually does, share your nudes without your consent, there is help available.

Our team at Advocacy & Welfare is here to help you when you need it.
If you need to talk with someone, and you’re not sure which direction to go, please reach out to our team.

You’re never alone at UNE.