It’s 2020, let’s talk about sex
It’s 2020, not only a new year, but a new decade. It’s time to leave the stigma, taboo and shame behind when we talk about sex. So here are some things to try out in 2020.
1. Don’t be afraid to talk about sex
It doesn’t matter where you’re at in your sex life – having sex with a partner, a one-night stand or a fling, or considering sex for the first time – being open about sex is super important. This includes with, when, where and how you want to have sex, the condom conversation and what you’re into. Discussions about sex are too often shrouded in secrecy or reserved for bragging. And that’s resulted in a lot of unsatisfied people. Let’s change that! See here for some tips on talking about sex.
2. Remember that not wanting sex is normal
A lot of discussion occurs as if… everyone has sex and wants it all of the time. And that’s just not true. Whether you’re asexual or just not wanting to have sex, that’s perfectly fine. The thing you need to remember is that no matter your situation, you must always ask for consent and respect other people’s boundaries. Make sure you’re being true to yourself when considering sex – you can say no.
3. Get to know what you like
Sex is going to be a whole lot better when you know what floats your boat. Masturbation is very healthy, normal and will help you discover what you’re into. Once you know what you like, you can communicate this to any partner and enjoy the result.
4. Use lube
Lube can make sex much more enjoyable, by reducing friction. It can be used during any kind of sexual activity and is widely available. For tips on types of lube, see here.
5. Do kegels
Kegels won’t only improve bladder and bowel function, they might just make your orgasms better. Maybe you’ve heard of them. They’re a pelvic floor muscle exercise that can be done by anyone, regardless of age or the genitals between your legs. Men, that includes you! For the how-to on kegels, see here.
6. Get tested more often
Many sexually transmitted infections (STIs) show no symptoms at all. You could unwittingly pass an STI onto your partner/s. And that is far from sexy. STI testing is quick, easy and usually free.
7. Own condoms
Now, of course, you should always keep condoms handy. They’re the only way to have sex that prevents both pregnancy and the spread of STIs. But when we say ‘own’ condoms, we mean to own the decision to carry and use condoms! If you want to use a condom, don’t let someone convince you not to use them. Be open to having the condom conversation. Check out our previous blog on the Do’s and Don’ts of condoms. Stay safe out there!
If you’ve got questions about your sexual health, you can free-call the NSW Sexual Health Infolink on1800 451 624 (Weekdays, 9am-5.30pm). Your questions will be answered confidentially by a specialist sexual health nurse. Otherwise, speak to your GP! In the meantime, check out our online sexual health resources!
Our team at Advocacy & Welfare are here to help you when you need it.
If you need to talk with someone, and you’re not sure which direction to go, please reach out to our team.
You’re never alone at UNE.